Reach Out And Touch Base

I want to socialise something with you…

Having just spent almost three whole weeks shut in meeting rooms and locked in intensive conference and video calls to various states side clients and suppliers, my cell mates and I have noticed an ever increasing reliance on maddening jargon between the parties in an evermore twisted game of word smithery.

Now if you want to leverage best practice and socialise core competences I’ll need your buy-in to get all our ducks in a row and land this plane… What total incomprehensible nonsense. Surely if I want to reach out and touch base all I need do is call an all hands and empower all to give 110% across the piece.

No no no. No more. And please no more ball parks or taking it offline… and for the record, you can’t give more than 100%. And as for that bloody hymn sheet…

Why do we feel the need to use such ridiculous phrases and mask the real issues? Is it that business is so boring or uninspiring that we feel the need to become more poetic in delivering simple statements or requests? Or is it a subconscious way of trying to increase ones self importance? Whatever the reason it’s very easy to get caught up in the game and embellish the simple act of communication. The outcome is always the same however, the business poet looks pompous, ridiculous and untrustworthy.

So lets park the idea, aim at the low hanging fruit and think outside the box. It’s a no brainer.

#jargon #lowhangingfruit #outsidethebox #landthisplane #reachout #touchbase