Office Gestapo

You know the ones… eyes in the back of their heads, sense of humour bypass, able to sniff out a cheese and pickle sandwich at fifty paces. They are usually the office manager or P.A. to the head honcho and that direct links gives them the authority, or so they think, to stomp about barking orders as if they’re the grand fromage themselves.

These fire breathing dragons rule the roost with an over zealous attitude that far outstrips their actual authority within a business and yet they strut around shouting orders and demanding action from anyone within earshot… and let’s be honest here, earshot of the office Gestapo is probably a good half a mile.

I’m sure that in a previous life these small minded individuals would have operated as the sadistic torturer to a despotic dictator or been the drill sergeant major… I can feel the piercing glare and daggers in my back already. Now I know that’s a sweeping generalisation and stereotype, but stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.

Now I fully understand the need to have somebody responsible to keep everything ship shape and in order, I understand the need to remind people of protocols and procedures but I don’t understand why everything should be demanded and not asked. It might sound like a triflingly small point but if I’ve learned just one thing in my business life it’s that staff respond to a please and a thank you.

Equally I’m a great believer in treating people as you would wish to be treated and if you make a rule it’s a rule for everyone. Yes it makes sense to put coats in a cupboard and not hanging off the back of every chair. Yes it makes sense to clear away the office detritus that accumulates about the place. And yes it makes sense to ban eating at the desk for so many reasons. But don’t be seen to be flaunting your own rules if you want to maintain your position at the top of the tree in your tiny world.

I’m going straight to hell for this one… I’ve been Sharon Barker, thank you for listening.